Mocktail Thesaurus – Alternatives for the Word Mocktail

Many people have an extreme dislike of the word "mocktail," and a thousand and one Facebook discussions later, I've decided to put all the suggested alternatives for the word in one place.

So if you're looking for a new section heading for your bar menu, or you're a journalist writing the 4000th Dry January story and need some new words to use, this list is for you!

Menus from PrettyUgly (Toronto), North Shore Distillery (Chicago), Zona Mexicana (San Francisco), Zyankali Bar (Berlin), Sushi By Bou (Multiple locations)

Please let me know if  I missed something! 

1. 0% ABV
2. 86 ABV
3. abstinence drinks
4. alcohol free
5. all ages show 
6. almost cocktails
7. barely legal
8. baseless
9. boozeless
10. chauffeur's choice
11. cocktail adjacent
12. coolers
13. designated drivers
14. drinks for your endurance
15. driver friendly
16. driver's choice
17. dry cocktails
18. dry liquids
19. even keel
20. fauxtails
21. free-spirited cocktails
22. freetails
23. gentle spirit
24. g-rated
25. immaculate concoctions
26. jerk soda
27. junior varsity
28. kiddie cocktails
29. lie-bations
30. liver friendly 
31. loopholes
32. low test
33. maternatinis
34. minor indulgences
35. no ABV
36. nolo
37. nocktails
38. no knocktails
39. non-alcoholic 
40. nonnies
41. nontoxicants
42. no octane
43. no proof 
44. not just for kids
45. not quite cocktails
46. not-tails
47. n.w.a. (nothing with alcohol)
48. on the wagon
49. pacers
50. PG
51. placebos
52. preggatinis
53. rated E for Everyone
54. refrainers
55. refreshers
56. safe for work
57. shallow end
58. sober drinks
59. soft cocktails
60. soft drinks
61. spirit-free
62. teetotalers
63. teetotaler tipples 
64. temperance drinks
65. tonics and refreshers
66. uber juice 
67. unleaded
68. virgin
69. volcano sacrifice
70. Volstead approved
71. without alcohol
72. without proof
73. zero alcohol
74. zero-proof

Got other ideas? Let me know!